Nurses we'd most like at our bedside
 EVELYN JOHNSON
from Pearl Harbor
Nurse most likely to...
Fall for a guy (or two) in uniform
Why we love her...
When everything else about Pearl Harbor was so terrible, its easy to see why the beautiful Kate Beckinsale would seem so palatable against the backdrop of the rest of the movie. Of course, it doesn't hurt that she's a beautiful woman and she looks pretty great in red lipstick. Plus, if your best friend goes down in combat, she'll console the hell out of you, if you know what I mean. |
 CARLA ESPINOZA
from Scrubs
Nurse most likely to...
Put you in your place (maybe even tie you down)
Why we love her...
Nothing's hotter than a strong woman, and this one's got brains and beauty to boot. Nurse Espinoza is not afraid to tell it like it is, often dispensing advice whether its wanted or not. Of course, she's almost always right, which may be irritating to her significant other, but is probably better for her patients in the long run.
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 CHRISTINE CHAPEL
from Star Trek
Nurse most likely to...
Cure what ails you with Vulcan soup
Why we love her...
This poor Starfleet nurse was destined for heartbreak... After discovering her fiancée was an android, she fell hard and fast for the aloof half-Vucan Spock (fascinating). We love that she's got a soft spot for brainy types, but like most blondes who look good in miniskirts, we wish she'd make better relationship decisions. |
 HANA
from The English Patient
Nurse most likely to...
Dispense morphine liberally
Why we love her...
If there's anyone you'd want by your side until the end, its Hana. This woman will do whatever it takes to ease the pain, including doing a cute little Angel of Death thing if necessary. Aside from putting you out of your misery, she'll also charm you with her sweetness, her capacity for love, and her willingness to stand by you in your time of need. |
 HELLO NURSE
from Animaniacs!
Nurse most likely to...
Elicit a Tex Avery-like greeting
Why we love her...
Although we highly doubt the qualifications of a nurse whose moniker is based off the verbal response she provokes, you've got to love a woman who walks around a hospital all day wearing white high heels.
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 ANNA
from The Sensuous Nurse
Nurse most likely to...
Get butt nekked
Why we love her...
Hired by greedy relatives to seduce and over-stimulate an aging man into cardiac arrest, Ursula Andress plays the sexy nurse to a T. This erotic comedy has plenty of nude scenes, which, while being perfectly tasteful and classy, also show lots of boobies.
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 HOT LIPS
from M*A*S*H
Nurse most likely to...
Go by-the-book
Why we love her...
A stern and sexy army brat, Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan had to put up with the chauvinistic attitudes of the mostly-male military camp while keeping the rest of the nursing staff in check. She may have valued military discipline to the extreme, but she was competent and passionate, and boy do we love her for it.
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| Nurses we have nightmares about NURSE RATCHED
from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Nurse most likely to...
Lobotomize you
Why we're terrified of her...
She may look sweet and charming on the outside (who could resist that charming death stare?), but this lady is a real sicko. Her tortuous treatment of mental patients ranged from emotional to physical abuse, and we suspect she may have had some skeletons in her closet fueling her sadism. Can someone say 'daddy issues'?
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 ANNIE WILKES
from Misery
Nurse most likely to...
Incapacitate you with a sledgehammer
Why we're terrified of her...
From the mind of Stephen King came Annie Wilkes, a superfan who was more than a tad unstable. Wilkes wasn't just any ol' twisted nurse, she was an emotionally deranged, zealously religious, homicidal psychopath who just happened to be in the profession. Who sold this lady a sledgehammer anyway?
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 NURSING HOME ORDERLY (Hal L)
from Happy Gilmore
Nurse most likely to...
Put you to work in his nursing home sweat shop
Why we're terrified of him...
When asked for a glass of milk by Happy Gillmore’s sweet little Grandmother, Hal responded: “You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep! Or I will PUT you to sleep!” Imagine what he’d do to a more able-bodied person like you. Now re-imagine it with that creepy handle-bar mustache. |
 THE JOKER
from The Dark Knight
Nurse most likely to...
Really surprise you with that pencil trick
Why we're terrified of him...
Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker was probably the first time we saw a Batman villain and, instead thinking of all the cool features the action figure would have, we peed our pants. Ledger's Joker was a ruthless killer with a one-way ticket to Crazytown, a fleeting acquaintance with human emotion, and we can't think of anyone we'd like to nurse us less.
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 THE NURSES
from Silent Hill
Nurse most likely to...
Stagger menacingly towards you
Why we're terrified of them...
Even though its just a game, we're never happy when we're forced to explore the hospitals in Silent Hill. The undead nurses in this video game/film franchise come in many different flavors, and manage to be creepy every time despite having totally hot bodies. Just another lesson in inner beauty for you.
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 ELLE DRIVER
from Kill Bill
Nurse most likely to...
Slice you to pieces
Why we're terrified of her...
Of course, we all know that this chick's actually a one-eyed assassin and not really a medical professional, but she's just as formidable in that white nurse outfit (who gave her that matching eye patch??). Whatever you do, don't piss her off or she might inject you with poison, although with any luck, she'll miss your arm completely because of her lack of depth perception. |
 GAYLORD FOCKER
from Meet the Parents
Nurse most likely to...
Totally destroy anything of importance
Why we're terrified of him...
The sad thing is, this guy always seems to have the best of intentions (with only the smallest hint of deception), but he pretty much annihilates anything he touches. Its an unfortunate fate for him, but even more unfortunate for his patients, who probably don't live to tell about it... |
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Poor nurses never seem to get the fair shake they deserve. Either they're portrayed as mere helpers to their superior doctor counterparts, or they're hardly shown at all (Grey's Anatomy, we're looking at you!). 
